From Richard Johnson
Catherine says ..."Tell about the first time you fell in love. What happened?"
What a fun question! Well maybe fun is not the right word. It sure stirs up emotions.
In my experiences, the most painful things in this world are breaking up with someone and being broken up with. I am a gentle person. Being rejected or rejecting others is worse then any physical pain. I'd take a broken arm, bump, bruise, knock over going through emotional pain. Although it hurts to break someone else's heart it is only half as bad as being the one who is rejected. I suppose that is because you get to prepare emotionally for the big day while the other person gets a surprise.
1. My first love was a doozie. I was always trying to please her. I'd ask myself what was the most romantic thing that you can do... I was always trying to figure it out and then do that. It was never a gift, it was a gift with deep deep messages and heart felt meaning behind it. When I look back on it I never seemed to be good enough (in my mind) for her. I tried to please her and then felt bad about myself when she didn't reciprocate.
However I pleased her it was not enough to elicit the same amount of love from her that I had for her.
Breaking up:
She called me over to her house. All that I remember is she said, "We are breaking up. maybe we'll get back together in a month or a year" and then I was back at Moiya Wood's house for a family dinner. I went down into the basement and laid on Curtis's bed... maybe Mathews.
Someone's bed. I didn't eat dinner and I don't think I said a word to anybody. I just laid there in someone else's house, and I felt like a million pounds. There was no muscle in my body that could work hard enough to lift me out of that bed.
It took me months or maybe years to get over that heart ache.
I had 3, 4, 10 girlfriends after that?
Many of them as good or better then my first love.
What I want to say about this though is that my first love wasn't a bad person.
I told myself that she was the 'devil' and a horrible person for the longest time. I could say that I was crazy. CRAZY during that relationship. I could say that she was a horrible girlfriend. All of these years later I really understand that we were both good people and terrible people together.
You can fall in love with many people but only the compatible people will make good partners.
Love is wonderful but it's not enough to create a life together. Love is wonderful when you go to the movies together and hold hands and all of the great moments together that give you butterflies. That cannot sustain a marriage when there are screaming babies and struggles with life, and problems in the family. The best marriages are when you are best friends.
It is an old line to say my wife is my best friend. If you analyze it from another angle though it means much more. Would you blow off your best friend, or not return their calls? Would you be rude to them or tell them what to do? Being best friends with your partner means treating them kindly. In public and in private. When nobody is watching and when you are out together.
My conclusion:
Falling in love is easy. We can all fall in love many times during our lives. The trick is to fall in love with someone that you are compatible with.
That is the trick.
Richard Johnson
Catherine says ..."Tell about the first time you fell in love. What happened?"
What a fun question! Well maybe fun is not the right word. It sure stirs up emotions.
In my experiences, the most painful things in this world are breaking up with someone and being broken up with. I am a gentle person. Being rejected or rejecting others is worse then any physical pain. I'd take a broken arm, bump, bruise, knock over going through emotional pain. Although it hurts to break someone else's heart it is only half as bad as being the one who is rejected. I suppose that is because you get to prepare emotionally for the big day while the other person gets a surprise.
1. My first love was a doozie. I was always trying to please her. I'd ask myself what was the most romantic thing that you can do... I was always trying to figure it out and then do that. It was never a gift, it was a gift with deep deep messages and heart felt meaning behind it. When I look back on it I never seemed to be good enough (in my mind) for her. I tried to please her and then felt bad about myself when she didn't reciprocate.However I pleased her it was not enough to elicit the same amount of love from her that I had for her.
Breaking up:
She called me over to her house. All that I remember is she said, "We are breaking up. maybe we'll get back together in a month or a year" and then I was back at Moiya Wood's house for a family dinner. I went down into the basement and laid on Curtis's bed... maybe Mathews.
Someone's bed. I didn't eat dinner and I don't think I said a word to anybody. I just laid there in someone else's house, and I felt like a million pounds. There was no muscle in my body that could work hard enough to lift me out of that bed.
It took me months or maybe years to get over that heart ache.
Many of them as good or better then my first love.
What I want to say about this though is that my first love wasn't a bad person.
I told myself that she was the 'devil' and a horrible person for the longest time. I could say that I was crazy. CRAZY during that relationship. I could say that she was a horrible girlfriend. All of these years later I really understand that we were both good people and terrible people together.
You can fall in love with many people but only the compatible people will make good partners.
Love is wonderful but it's not enough to create a life together. Love is wonderful when you go to the movies together and hold hands and all of the great moments together that give you butterflies. That cannot sustain a marriage when there are screaming babies and struggles with life, and problems in the family. The best marriages are when you are best friends.
It is an old line to say my wife is my best friend. If you analyze it from another angle though it means much more. Would you blow off your best friend, or not return their calls? Would you be rude to them or tell them what to do? Being best friends with your partner means treating them kindly. In public and in private. When nobody is watching and when you are out together.
My conclusion:
That is the trick.
Richard Johnson
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